The Scent of Creativity

Just some ramblings from a mother of two teenagers...wife of over 17 yrs...and zoo keeper to over 13 fur babies!!!! I also run a business making homemade soaps, lotions, lip balms, candles & more!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Toxic Personalities

I was surfing the net this morning and found this great article on toxic personalities. I have had my life's share of toxic people. For the most part, I try to avoid those types, but some how they pull me back in. Here is an excerpt from the article:

Here are the worst of the toxic personalities out there and how to spot them:

1. Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics. Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late. These individuals figure out what your 'buttons' are, and push them to get what they want.

* Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem. They find ways to make you do things that you don't necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation. The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.

2. Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them. They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met. You often want to say to them "It isn't always about you."

* Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust. You are left disappointed and unfulfilled. Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.

3. Debbie Downers: These people can't appreciate the positive in life. If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast. If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they'll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.

* Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything. Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity. Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.

4. Judgmental Jims: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive. If you find people's unique perspectives refreshing, they find them 'wrong'. If you like someone's eclectic taste, they find it 'disturbing' or 'bad'.

* Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers. In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over. If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring. Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.

5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can't do it. As you achieve, they try to pull you down. As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.

* Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be. Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.

6. Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere. You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh. You feel depressed and sad and they give you a 'there, there' type response. You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.

* Why they are toxic: People who aren't sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria. This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships. When you are really in need of a friend, they won't be there. When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are. When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.

7. Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways. In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies. Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you. Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business. Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.

* Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don't respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy. These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.

8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you. They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.

* Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end up losing yourself in the process. They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.

All of these personalities have several things in common. 1) the more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue. 2) Unfortunately, most of these people don't see that what they do is wrong and as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you wondering if you are the crazy one. 3) Most of these people get worse with age, making their impact on you stronger with time.

Frankly, life is too short to spend your time dealing with toxicity. If you can, avoid spending mucho time with people who are indicative of these behaviors and you'll feel a lot happier. Have you encountered these personalities? What have you done? Any personalities you would add?

Saturday, May 23, 2009

You know you are from the Appalachia Mountains.....

You know you’re from the Appalachian Mountains if:
1. You’ve been referred to as a "young'un" by your elders.
2. Any 4-lane highway was an "interstate"
3. You know Pinto Beans as "Soup Beans"
4. Its pronounced "Appa-la-chan" not "Appa-laach-an"
5. You never had cable, and some of your relatives still don't.
6. You know all about the "snipe hunting" fiasco.
7. You've willingly eaten something one of your family members hunted, shot, gutted, and filled the freezer with.
8. You don't get grossed out by putting worm on a hook.
9. Some outsider made fun of your accent/dialect.
10. You went barefoot in the summer because it felt good, NOT because you were "poor."
11. You caught "crawdads" and "salamanders" around the nearby creek growing up.
12. You laughed your ass off at "The Andy Griffith Show"
13. You caught "June Bugs" in the summer and sometimes even tied a string to a leg and watched them fly around in circles..."
14. You never missed your high school football games.
15. You knew more about Lynyrd Skynyrd than half their relatives did.
16. Old cars and pickups are COOL!
17. During a natural disaster, such as a flood, families came together to help. They DIDN'T rely on government help.
18. You called her "Mamaw," NOT granny.
19. The electricity went off when it snowed too much, but you had a fireplace or Kerosene heater....
20. No matter how far away you were from the railroad tracks, sometimes you'd hear the distant sound of a train.....
21. You have at least one relative who worked in the coal mines.
22. A big city to you was Knoxville or Roanoke....
23. You know what Poke is.
24. You were taught how to properly handle a firearm before you completed elementary school.
25. You were taught to: "Treat others how THEY want to be treated." Not how "YOU WOULD like to be treated."
26. You said "Yes, sir" and "Yes, Ma'am" and knew better NOT to.
27. You said the pledge of allegiance and never thought about it hurting anyone else's feelings. The clause "Under God" was not a problem for you.
28. You remember Vacation Bible School...
29. Your Mom could sure make a HELL of a fried chicken supper!
30. You LOVED "The Dukes of Hazzard..." And most importantly......
31. I grew up in the Appalachian Mountains. I'm educated. I'm intelligent. STEREOTYPES SUCK!